Study 58 – Grace or Bitterness?

At school I remember watching the boys as they came out of the headmaster’s study having experienced his discipline. Many of them turned to those waiting their turn and arrogantly declared, ‘Didn’t feel a thing.’ Sadly you might add, ‘Didn’t learn a thing either’!

Don’t make light or lose heart
The writer to the Hebrews tells us, ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline’ (Heb. 12:5). When God takes you through a season of discipline, don’t shrug it off as though nothing were happening. This is no time for a cavalier attitude or a careless ‘Halleluiah anyway’ approach. Beware of missing the point. Nothing’s gained by making light of the Lord’s discipline.

The opposite reaction is just as dangerous. The writer goes on, ‘And do not lose heart when He rebukes you’ (Heb. 11:5). At the first sign of correction, little children often cry, ‘It’s not fair’ or ‘You don’t love me’ and some Christians respond in the same way to God’s chastisement. They hit the self-pity button and declare, ‘I’m hopeless. Nothing works out for me’. Don’t do that. God isn’t against you and he hasn’t forgotten you. If you give up, you learn nothing.

You must approach tough experiences with maturity and demonstrate a humble and teachable attitude. The season of suffering is meant to produce fruit. It will do that only for those ‘who have been trained by it’ (Heb. 12:11), not for those who’ve missed the training. Indeed, suffering doesn’t automatically produce holiness and sanctification. It can produce the very opposite. Those who’ve gone through tragic circumstances often fall into bitterness and misery. That’s why the writer warns us, ‘See to it that no-one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many’ (Heb. 12:15). Grace or bitterness, the choice is yours.

Don’t get bitter
When you go through hard times, bitterness is waiting at the door, offering you fellowship. ‘What a terrible time you’ve had,’ it says. ‘How cruel they’ve been! How unjustly you’ve been treated.’ But bitterness isn’t a friendly companion; it’s a vile weed which puts its roots down deep into people’s personalities. Not content to disfigure just one soul, it grows up searching for others who might be willing to draw near. If you yield to its offer of companionship, a root will grow in your soul and you’ll defile many others.

The only way to withstand bitterness is to make sure that you don’t miss the grace of God. Grace, like an effective weed-killer, can get to the root of bitterness and destroy its power. But you must deliberately obtain grace. You must make a specific choice to refuse bitterness, not once but many times. Bitterness will repeatedly knock your door and you must always send grace to answer it.

Again, Joseph proved such an exemplary figure in this. In spite of his brothers’ cruelty to him, he refused to be bitter towards them. Rather, he believed in God’s greater providential purposes, gave them absolutely free forgiveness and kept his own soul clear and unspoiled. No-one else was defiled either. No Egyptians were in danger of hearing from Joseph how wickedly his brothers had treated him. He gave them such honour and received them with such evident and unmixed joy that no suspicions arose. He obtained grace and that was sufficient.

To Meditate On

God’s people don’t seek revenge.

‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbour as yourself. I am the Lord (Lev. 19:18).

‘Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you’ (Prov. 20:22).

‘Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing’ (1 Pet. 3:9).

Food For Thought

What were the root causes of bitterness behind each of the following verses?
Genesis 27:41; Ruth 1:20,21; 1 Samuel 30:6; Mark 6:19; Luke 15:30

Meditate on Romans 12:17-21.

To Consider

When could Jesus ‘justifiably’ have been bitter towards others?

Read and learn from 1 Peter 3:19-25.

To Pray

Are you bitter about anything that God has done or is doing in your life?

Pray for his forgiveness and forgive anyone who has hurt or is hurting you.

If appropriate, seek reconciliation with the person or people involved.

To Be Inspired

‘Your afflictions may only prove that you are more immediately under the Father's hand. There is no time that the patient is such an object of tender interest to the surgeon, as when he is bleeding beneath his knife. So you may be sure if you are suffering from the hand of a reconciled God, that his eye is all the more bent on you.’
Robert Murray McCheyne